Who’s Goals are you working toward?
So many of us begin life wanting to be fireman, lifeguards, musicians, actors, so many different professions that really spoke to what our interest were when we were kids.
And if you’re like me, at some point in the middle of your childhood you started to see what success was according to the adults around you, including those that were on the TV.
When you stop in life, and you ask yourself the question whose goals am I working towards, you might find that a lot of the goals that you have been working towards are a culmination of goals that were given to you through the cultural web you were raised in. Your parents, teachers, religious beliefs, social status, family heritage, ect.
Your goals should be lighting up your soul in the morning when you awake!
They should be driving you to challenge yourself and prove to YOURSELF you have what it takes to make it!
You should feel a degree of fear when you look at your goals. Why? Fear means there is a challenge awaiting you, a challenge that will transform you into something more.
I would like to share with you my story briefly, because it is a great example of what can happen when you discover you are chasing someone else’s goals:
Growing up I heard my father tell me all the time that I will be a lawyer because I love to argue. The reality was I love to argue with him, because he was always trying to tell me what I needed to do and who I was, and felt a great resistance to his direction. I actually don’t like to argue, I enjoy listening to other people’s perspectives and determining if what they have to say can help me view an idea from a different perspective.
Leaving my father’s ambitions for myself with him, I worked towards and finished my undergrad at the University of Washington, in Geography (remember I like to do things my way). The study of geography is less about maps, and more about how people interact with the land and societies they live within. This was so interesting to me!
I was poised to go out into the world to get a job but it was 2006, and there were no jobs for people who were just out of school. I decided to make a change and I moved myself to Colorado, where I spent most of my time the next three years going to concerts, and socializing with individuals who were equally looking to enjoy the fun times in life.
During those days, it took a lot of money to go to those concerts, and I didn’t really have a career yet. This is when I assessed what success was. I wanted to have enough money to do the things that I wanted to do in my life, so I did what many Americans do, I went back to school and I got a Master’s in business.
That sure did set me on the right path (for the moment at least) to what I felt success was, because soon after finishing my Master’s degree I got a job at Deloitte. That was the beginning of my ‘success’. Fast forwarding six years later, I was making six-figure salary, waking up every day immediately thinking about the meetings and the presentations that I needed to create or attend. My phone was connected to my ear even when I was home, and I was racking up the sky miles with all the travel I was doing for my job. You could say I was completely motivated by the titles and salaries.
At some point in that six year I started to get debilitating knee pain. My knee pain was so bad I was popping Advil daily just so that I could walk with a little more ease. I know now that was one of the signs in my life letting me know that I needed to make some changes. How do I know? I have not felt knee pain since I left my career path in business.
Sometime towards the end of this career path, in a moment of honesty, I shared that I felt I knew and understood more about life than I did about business with my supervisor over lunch. That was the turning point in my story. As I started to get more honest with myself as to what was truly lighting up my soul, it became crystal clear that I need to make some changes in what I was working for, and who I was working with.
That was in year 2014, and today in 2018 I am living the life that lights up my soul.
I left the business world, and pursued a life that truly excited me, and scared me as well.
Asking myself those honest questions about what I was doing for myself, and what effect that had on those closest to me in life catapulted me into making some very large decisions.
The day I shared with my husband that I was going back to school to get a PhD in psychology, it wasn’t much of a discussion, it was more of a statement. And yes you could say that that statement was quite ‘random’ for him to hear. But there was one thing that he had understood about me after six years of being together- when I chose to do something nothing stood in my way from reaching that goal. I am a very driven individual.
Looking back at the life that I have been living for the past four years, I can truly say that I am living my soul’s purpose. I wake up with excitement, and energetic energy flowing through my system as I think about what I will accomplish in that day, who I will reach, what I will learn, and what I will be able to share.
My life at home became better too. Our oldest son, who was acting out in defiant behavior slowly became the sweetest most gentle soul we knew. Changing who I was, immediately changed who he wanted to be. I saw that my husband was also finding ways to ask himself the same questions that I was asking myself. And in a moment of beauty, my husband began letting go of aspects of his own life that pointed him toward goals that made him light up inside too. No he didn’t change careers, he just became more confident in what he wanted to achieve in his career.
I started to see that by living my truth, and asking myself whose goals was I really working towards brought me closer to who I really am, the authentic me.
I won’t lie to you and say that that journey of asking myself those questions was an easy one, because I had to face the decisions I had made, and the life that I had created up to that point. There was a lot of lessons that I learned in the process of become the me that writes these words today.
I share my story with you to show you how asking myself these questions has turned me into the person I was meant to be. Aspects of my personality started to transform, and I discovered that my ego was being invited to come along on the journey that my soul was guiding me towards.
Making changes in our lives is usually very scary, sometimes they completely disturbed the comfort of what we have come to know. But as we have all heard in life there is no growth in comfort. And once you brave the path of becoming the most authentic version of yourself, you might find that your path is located behind the door you could not see before. Because when you make that brave step, the light meets you where you are, and you will begin to see the new path.
I invite you to take the brave step and ask yourself whose goals are you working towards, and do they light you up inside with excitement. Because if they don’t, you’re working for the wrong goals, and there is a greater calling awaiting you. A happier life, a life that seems like it is one big blessing!
-Authentic, real, Soulful Nomi